Last year was not the best Mother’s Day (even though it was my first) as I was sleep deprived and the babies were still such a lot of work.

I know nobody talks about the hard times but hey, that’s what you come here for, right? Honesty

Anyway, so this year I was determined to have a much better day.

I did a couple of things that worked really well and when I was reflecting on them, I thought this might resonate with a couple of you too, so here goes:

I made my expectations clear and didn’t expect my husband to read my mind

He asked what I wanted and I told him “small and practical gifts, one from you and one from the babies, plus some me time”

I gave myself permission to take the me time

I realised after I asked for the “me time” that nobody had ever prevented me from taking it.

Least of all him.

It’s me who runs around cleaning the house and doing, doing, doing when I could easily stop and take a rest while the babies nap.

It’s cold in Jhb now and last week I realised that I needed some more long-sleeved t-shirts as I was still wearing 3 from when I was pregnant in the early stages, and another 2 from when I was huge.

Not a good look!

So off I went on Saturday morning for a solo shopping trip. One hour, R550 later and I was recharged.

On Sunday morning after we fed the kids, I jumped back into bed and had my breakfast. I chose to read for about 45 minutes.

Late afternoon when they were having their 2nd nap, I had another read.

It was heavenly.

But I realised that I need to give myself permission more often to do “nothing”. To relax.

How about you?

Are you also go, go, go? Do you need to give yourself permission to relax too?

Priorities, priorities, priorities…

Since doing this Simplify Your Life Course I have changed my ways.

My priorities have changed.

Now instead of putting the things first that don’t make me happy and fulfilled, I am now focusing on what is going to bring my life the greatest of happiness and achievement.

I am amazed at the impact changing your priorities has on your life. I have worked out the most important things in my life and ranked them from most important to least important. The areas are spiritual, financial, family, health, work, personal and friends.

Here is my ranking.

1. Spiritual

2. Financial

3. Home/Work

4. Health

5. Personal

6. Family

7. Friends

Spiritual for me is taking the time to meditate and spend quality time with my thoughts. I am making this a priority to do this every day.

Our financial situation needs work. I have made this a weekly priority by getting a babysitter every week to look after the kids whilst I do the book work, phone calls, pay bills and keep the finances under control. The cost of a babysitter is nothing compared to the savings I make keeping the finances in good order.

I have made it a priority to organise my whole home. Of course using the assistance of Marcia with her Organise your home e-course. I don’t work out of the home, so the home is my work. Every day I spend at least 30 minutes organising my home.

My health is improving with exercise 3 times a week. I have a weekly schedule that includes a trip to the gym Mon, Wed and Friday. This is a priority as I usually eat better and take better care of my health and my families health when I am exercising every week.

I have made it a priority to take more time out for myself. I have started shopping by myself again, just browsing the stores to feel like a woman again after becoming a mother. I am taking more time to get ready so I can feel good about myself.

I am making date night a priority at least once a month with my husband. I am also making sure that we are spending quality time as a family on the weekends taking the kids to the park or just being together and having fun.

I am keeping in contact with the friends that make the most impact on my life.

Taking a look at my priorities has made me re think how to fit in what is most important in my life.

Thanks again Marcia for getting me to think about the most important things in my life.

Sam

If you’ve ever been for a job interview (and who hasn’t?!), you’ll be well aware of that awful question: what are your strengths and weaknesses?

At that point you want to position yourself in the best possible light so you frantically scramble and try to think of a weakness that’s not too bad.

I’ll confess that years ago when I used to go for job interviews I used to answer that my strength and weakness was that I was a perfectionist.

Nowadays, I would bite my tongue before admitting that.

Yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist but it’s definitely not something I’m in the least bit proud of.

You see, I think perfectionism robs you of living a full and happy life.

Are you a perfectionist?

“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.”

Julia Cameron

You may be a perfectionist if:

1. you think you’re the only person who can do something exactly right
2. you don’t even bother to do something unless you can do it 100% perfectly
3. you never ask for help as you see it as a sign of weakness
4. you can’t stand doing anything badly or failing at anything
5. you tend to notice others’ mistakes

Do you see what I mean?

If you’re constantly striving for the elusive perfection, you’re never going to be happy to just be.

Your relationships will suffer and so will your productivity.

Perfectionism has also been related to illnesses such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression and a host of relationship and emotional problems.

As I said, I used to be a fully-fledged perfectionist until I wised up.

I had to learn to let go a little, lower my impossible standards and change my language.

Next time I’ll give you some more tips on overcoming perfectionism.

But for now, tell me:

Are you a perfectionist? Is it something you’re proud of or have you already started seeing the limitations thereof?

If you’d like one-on-one help from a recovering perfectionist, be brave and contact me today.

I was just browsing my Google Reader and somebody linked to an application called Freedom that will prevent you  from going online for a certain, predetermined time.

The idea is that during that time you do what it is you’re supposed to do:

1. write your book
2. work on projects
3. organise your home
4. menu plan, etc.

I love it and hate it.

Love that the decision is then taken away from me and hate that I would need something to help with my self-discipline.

I recognise, however, that the computer eats into many things I should be doing but don’t get around to doing.

So it is a necessary thing in our overcrowded lives. And if this is the only way for you to impose self-discipline, then I say, “go for it”!

How about you?

How do you feel about this? Would you use it (there’s a version for PC and Mac)?

PS nobody’s paying me a single cent for writing about it – it just triggered a hot button and I want to hear from you

So, it’s 1 April but this is not an April Fool’s joke
I want to know what your organising and time goals are for the month.

I’ll go first. Mine are

1) enjoy a lovely holiday – we’re going away for 4 days this month – so quite a bit of packing to do

2) get this blog redesigned – it’s about time, isn’t it?
3) declutter and organise the kids’ clothes as we go into the colder weather
4) get chest of drawers and other dresser painted (I’m going olive green for the one and turquoise for the other)

Last month I didn’t get the filing done but I did declutter their toys.

Sometimes you just have to ask youself, “what’s driving me more crazy right this minute?”

So, what are your organising goals this month?

PS I’m also going to blog every day this month. So I need some ideas – what questions would you like me to answer? Ask in the comments and I’ll pepper my answers throughout the month. And don’t forget to send me your inspiring space, or the link if you see some gorgeous spaces while you’re blog-hopping.

Let’s talk about the difference between URGENT and IMPORTANT.

Urgent refers to a time deadline.

Important means it is high value.

Every day things come across our path that are of low or high importance, and low and high urgency.

Grab a piece of paper and draw a big square. Now draw a line down and another across. You should now have 4 smaller squares.

Along the top, write High Value and Low Value. And along the left-hand side, write Deadline and No Deadline.

Basically, you want to always focus your time in the blocks on the left.

The top block is high value AND high urgency, which means it must get done NOW and it is VERY important. I like to think of client work in this block. Clients are why most of us are in business and there are usually deadlines attached. If you’ve ever bought a product of mine, you’ll know that you’re redirected to a page telling you I have a 24-hour turnaround time. Private 1:1 clients know that I’ve committed to ALWAYS respond within 24 – 48 hours.

The block below that is HIGH value but LOW urgency and it is here that you need to focus if you’re ever going to move towards your goals. Why?

Nobody is standing over my head saying “you need to work on an email teleseminar” but I know that if I want to reach my goal of running x number of live teleseminars this year, I need to MAKE TIME to do that.

And it’s the same for you.

Whether your goal is to improve your fitness levels, get your home organised or have 3 hours of free time every week, you’re going to have to put some work into that quadrant.

That’s if you want to reach your goals.

I don’t even like to bother with the other two quadrants but I know that’s going to drive some of you crazy so let me just give you some email examples –

Low value tasks with a deadline are things like “send this email to 10 people within the next hour”. They have absolutely no value and the deadline is usually imposed by other people. Most interruptions also fall into this block.

Low value tasks with no deadline are emails with jokes, funny pictures and the like. My suggestion is to get these out of your inbox permanently as they disrupt your focus and waste your time!

For the next two weeks, your challenge is to focus on the top two quadrants and only do tasks that fit there.

• Bonus – really step it up by making sure that you definitely get AT LEAST one task in the “goals” quadrant done every day.

We’ve all heard the saying, “time is money” and to a certain degree, that is true. However, today I want to challenge you by saying that time is MORE IMPORTANT than money.

Why?

Because you can always do something to make more money but you can never get time back. NEVER.

See where I’m going with this?

But what about your time?

Once you fritter away your time on unimportant things, you can never get that time back.

An email made its way around about a year ago about a man who gave his son two jars, one empty and one with marbles. There were enough marbles for the weeks he had left to live (assuming a man’s average mortality). He told his son to move one marble to the empty jar every Saturday so that he’d realise that he could never, ever get that time back.

Yes, the story is a bit hokey but it DOES have a point

I’m a practical sort of person so I like to do an exercise with my clients that I’d like you to do with me too.

Divide your monthly salary by 21.67 (the number of days you work each month). If you’re self-employed, use your average earnings by the number of days you usually work.

That’s your daily rate.

Now take that number and divide it by 7.5 or the number of hours you work every day.

That’s your hourly rate.

Now, when you spend an hour surfing the internet, replying to chain letters, reading blogs when you should be working, VISUALISE yourself throwing that money in the bin.

If you’re like me, it’ll shock you and make you realise the value of your time.

This week I’m challenging you to calculate your hourly rate and next time you’re tempted to procrastinate or just mess around, STOP and ask yourself if it’s really worth it.

My guess is no.

Marcia Francois is a time management coach and speaker who inspires busy women to break out of overwhelm, make the most of their time and take purposeful and focussed action so they have the time and freedom to live life to the full. Visit  http://purposefultimemanagement.com for your free Time Management Purpose Pack.

About 10 years ago, I once had the opportunity to see President Nelson Mandela up close and personal , at the Killarney Shopping Centre, surrounded by bodyguards.

He is much taller than I thought but more than that, has a very imposing presence. You feel like you’re in the presence of royalty…

I always tell my workshop participants, “we all have 24 hours a day. All of us. The President has 24 hours and we have 24 hours. The only difference is how we choose to use it”.

And that’s the truth.

Your life is a product of the choices you make with your time.

Your choices are not wrong, just different.

If you choose to “relax” for 4 hours each day watching TV, playing games, getting on Facebook, etc. don’t complain about not having the time to write your book, cook healthy food, organize your home, etc.

It’s the same way that I can’t complain that I don’t have enough time to read books when I spend too much time reading blogs!

Choices. It’s all about your choices.

Your coaching challenge

• Stop. Think about how you regularly spend  your time.
• Is there something you’d rather have in your life?
• Consciously make a choice to choose something better at least once a day for the next week.
• Need some help? Contact me for your Success Strategy Session. Otherwise, have a look at the Organise your Time system.

The other day on Facebook a friend updated her status and wrote about how she only seemed to be able to write her newsletter at night.

I commented and said something like, “at least you’re using your flow”.
Which brings me to the point of this post.

When you’re in the flow, see how long you can go if at all possible.

Let me give you an example that happened to me just last week.

I schedule my time throughout the week so that I focus on different tasks on different days.

On this particular day I was scheduled to write a blog post.

I wrote that one post but felt that things were flowing so beautifully that I extended the time to write another two posts.

All that in just under an hour.

So here’s the thing – no, the time wasn’t scheduled for the extra posts but I was in my natural flow.

It is purposeful time management to use the flow so that ultimately I get the tasks done quicker and much, much easier.

My question for you – think about things you do regularly.

Are there certain times of the day they feel easier? Could you incorporate this task into your weekly plan to capitalise on the flow?

P.S. My flow happened after I’d got back from the gym so maybe all that exercise was good for my writing muscles

Today I have a question for you – what does purposeful living mean to you?

For me it means being conscious about how I spend my time, making sure that the activities I choose to do contribute towards my life goals and mission, and re-evaluating it all constantly to make the necessary changes.

So share – what does it mean for you?

P.S. Have you seen my new website?

There’s a Time Management Purpose Pack waiting for you