I had a lovely lazy Easter weekend - lots of reading, some napping, lots of creating, lots of decluttering and organising, family time and socials.

The only thing I didn’t do enough of was cooking – and that was just fine with me

My little boy, Connor, even announced that we had to go back to the zoo because we took them on Monday.

squeezing the life out of his sister and strangely, she doesn't mind

 Autumn is in full swing in Joburg and I took tons of pictures of the leaves on Monday.

I’ve signed up for an online photography class (similar to my organising classes - where you get an email a day for x number of weeks) and do you know what the first lesson was about? Perfectionism!

Well… not quite but that was my aha. She said to let go of how all your settings need to be technically perfect on your camera and just look for the beauty.

Oooh, that I can do.

look for the beauty

So this week I took a very technically incorrect picture of apple slices just because the shape looked like a heart.

Where can you look for the beauty in your life?

Or where do you need to let go of your perfectionism?

I’ve recently got into crafting.

I use the word “crafting” very loosely, by the way, but I do love playing around and getting creative.

As many of you know, I do love lists and so I’ve made two lists – “things to make” and “things to make this year with supplies I already have“.

See, there’s a distinction.

One is more “pie in the sky” and very much on the nice to have list whereas the other list is more grounded in reality. I already have the supplies at home so all I have to do is take them out and CREATE.

When I was making the second list last week, I thought about how it’s the same with organising.

We have these tv/ blog/ Pinterest-like visions of what our organised homes should look like, complete with state-of-the-art organising systems, the most beautiful containers and worthy to appear on a tv show.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming, and dreaming big, but when we become paralysed and not motivated by the dream, there’s something wrong.

The thing is that those visions of perfection often leave us demotivated and uninspired to even start because you think, “what’s the point? I could never have it look like that”.

Why not rather look at your home realistically?

See what you can and are able to do and take it from there. Use what you have in the time you have available and just do the best you can do.

Read that paragraph again…

Here are some action steps for your organising REALITY list:

1. Take a piece of paper and a pen (I like a clipboard) and write down the rooms in your home that need some work. Leave space under each room heading.

2. Now walk around your house and make a list under each heading of what you want to do. For example, in the study/ home office

* tidy desk

* do filing

*put photos in photo albums/ frames, etc.

3. Choose a room to start and pick your first project.

4. Here’s the important part – use things you DO have to help you organise. The most important thing is simply a bin/ wastepaper basket.

5. Don’t let the idea of pretty stop you from having things function well. Remember a shoebox works just as well to store things as a fancy box from The Container Store.

Tell me honestly, do you get paralysed and overwhelmed by all the perfect organising solutions out there?

(I do when I let myself dwell on them!)

PS  Contact me if you need any help coming up with an organising strategy for your space. The wonders of Skype mean we can very easily consult virtually.

I’m learning a lot about myself through this book-writing process.

I’ve said often that I’m a recovering perfectionist and now I’m learning that when I’m under pressure, Perfectionism wants to rear her head.

An example…

When I thought about what I wanted to include in this book, I thought about who my reader might be. Someone who is likely overwhelmed due to disorganisation.

Such a person is not going to want to pore through every single thing I know about organising.

Bear in mind, I could quite easily write a short book about paper, another about email, etc.

So I purposed to keep it short and to the point.

I wrote the book and all was well.

Now in the reviewing process, I find myself wanting to add reams and reams more and I’ve had to reel in that perfectionistic streak and keep to my original purpose.

Just thought you’d like to know that I go through the same things you do.

Living an intentional life takes work. Hard work.

I’ve got some good momentum going now and I think it’ll only take another 4 – 6 hours before I am print-ready

I could be wrong but I’m not going to put myself under pressure as it’s all self-induced

Although it would be really nice to have this whole thing off my to-do list before the end of the year, right?!

Are you a perfectionist?

Do you still think it’s a good thing to be one?

Which of your goals do you want to cross off your 2011 to-do list?

PS Do you need help?

Well, it’s the end of October and I’ve posted 25 out of an intended 31 times.

The emergency gall bladder removal threw me off and then while at home recovering I missed another day.

I’m going to be honest.

When I looked at the stats, deep inside I want to make up the days and post the answers to the other 6 questions.

However, I really miss posting in my spontaneous, loosey-goosey way.

I took some pics of the Most Gigantic Laptop Bag ever, told the girl she was going on my blog (!) and then I remembered, “oh right, I’m doing 31 days”.

So I can look at this in one of two ways:

I failed at posting 31 days OR I was 80% successful at my goal.

I’m choosing the latter option.

I’m intentionally going to be okay with the imperfection and let myself off the hook.

Hope that’s okay with you because it’s okay with me.

So here is our last question for the month…

Laura-Kim says
I battle with my grocery cupboard and repack it once a month cos it never feels right :-/ I would love to see how you organise yours!

Your wish is my command!

BIG disclaimer

I would normally do a quick tidy but I was lazy and so these are (very clearly) the “before” pic. I do usually tidy quickly on the weekends. I mentioned before that there are too many people working inside my cupboards for them to stay tidy.

Moving on.

I have four shelves.

Right on the top, from left, Dion’s snacks and then cereals. It always seems excessive to me but some of us like lots of variety.

Next shelf – biscuits, baby snacks and teas/ coffees

This is the main food shelf – cans on left, then legumes, rices, noodles and pasta, packets of soup, sauce, etc, and then spreads.

Did you notice I’m the only one who seems to fill the rice containers??? Those rice labels are circles punched with a circle punch, handwritten (no fancy fonts!) and stuck on with Prestik.

I’m all about the easy organising. Although seeing these pics does make me want to attack this cupboard.

The last shelf has my snacks on the left, some sweets and things at the back and a bottle of Coke (we keep only for visitors as we don’t drink soda) and then baking things.

Close-up of the 3rd shelf.

Things that work for me in this space

1. Everything has a place.
2. When I pack away the weekly grocery shop, I do a quick tidy. It takes 5 minutes because it’s a weekly task.
3. Labels

Please click through and share your favourite grocery cupboard/ pantry organising tips.

PS I nominated myself for the SA blog awards and I would appreciate a vote if you’re so inclined.

Thank you.

I see mothers all over the internet feeling guilty about how they’re always behind with their kids’ scrapbooks.

A large part of that reason is that all our expectations are too high.

If you are a scrapbooker, why do you do scrap? (is that the correct word?)

Is it to preserve a memory?

If that’s true, then relax your standards somewhat and just get the memories down.

If it’s to foster your creativity, then by all means get fancy but remember the reason you got into it in the first place.

I am not a scrapbooker by any means (I lack patience and “fiddliness”) but I do want to preserve some memories.

One of the things on my 37 things list is to do two crafty/creative projects a month.

I’ve done a couple of projects and thought I’d show you my first attempt – a pseudo-scrapbook :

For those of you who are TRULY crafty, don’t laugh – this is HUGE for me.

• I bought a brag book.
• I used some of the party printables for the front and back covers.
• Printed TONS of pics from the party.
• Arranged them in an order that made me happy.
• Put in some of the leftover cupcake toppers and tented food tags.
• Realised I still had space for about 6 pics.
• Went back to the photo shop to print additional pics.
• Rearranged a little bit more.
• Called it a day.

Am VERY happy with the results.

I showed the people at work and (just goes to show what kind of people I work with) they were all SO enthusiastic and encouraging about my efforts that 3 of them want me to do their kids’ party.

Um, no thanks

If you’re stuck in scrapbooking guilt, just go get some brag book, put your pics in, journal on the opposite side of the book and call it a day.

I guarantee you’ll feel so much better.

What do you think of my little project?

PS would you like me to show you some more of my very low-maintenance attempts at making cute things?

Remember my Reluctant Entertainer post?

Well, I just decided that, as Sandy said, if I figure out my style and go with that, I should be fine.

I do set a beautiful table (there’s something so satisfying about the order of sequence of cutlery, plates and glasses) and I also love mixing and matching different placemats, plates and serviettes so every time the table looks slightly different.

But I’m not the best cook in the world.

The difference is that now I’ve embraced that as part of my style

So my style is casual (what else can it be with twins running around?!) and I’m of the opinion that since no-one is coming over for my cooking, I might as well relax about it.

And I have.

On Thursday a friend emailed me and asked if we were doing anything the following evening as her husband was up in Jhb and he’d love to see us.

Well, these are 3 am friends and we would ALWAYS love to see them (or even just one of them).

I knew I didn’t have time to even shop let alone cook but we made the plan.

And do you know what?

We still had a wonderful time fellowshipping, even over Debonairs pizza and milk tart

My challenge to you is this -

Think about someone, anyone, you haven’t seen for awhile and invite them over, even if just for coffee and biscuits (cookies).

Are you up for the challenge?

Who will you invite and by when?

(I’m a coach; I can’t resist getting specific!)

Last year was not the best Mother’s Day (even though it was my first) as I was sleep deprived and the babies were still such a lot of work.

I know nobody talks about the hard times but hey, that’s what you come here for, right? Honesty

Anyway, so this year I was determined to have a much better day.

I did a couple of things that worked really well and when I was reflecting on them, I thought this might resonate with a couple of you too, so here goes:

I made my expectations clear and didn’t expect my husband to read my mind

He asked what I wanted and I told him “small and practical gifts, one from you and one from the babies, plus some me time”

I gave myself permission to take the me time

I realised after I asked for the “me time” that nobody had ever prevented me from taking it.

Least of all him.

It’s me who runs around cleaning the house and doing, doing, doing when I could easily stop and take a rest while the babies nap.

It’s cold in Jhb now and last week I realised that I needed some more long-sleeved t-shirts as I was still wearing 3 from when I was pregnant in the early stages, and another 2 from when I was huge.

Not a good look!

So off I went on Saturday morning for a solo shopping trip. One hour, R550 later and I was recharged.

On Sunday morning after we fed the kids, I jumped back into bed and had my breakfast. I chose to read for about 45 minutes.

Late afternoon when they were having their 2nd nap, I had another read.

It was heavenly.

But I realised that I need to give myself permission more often to do “nothing”. To relax.

How about you?

Are you also go, go, go? Do you need to give yourself permission to relax too?

If you’ve ever been for a job interview (and who hasn’t?!), you’ll be well aware of that awful question: what are your strengths and weaknesses?

At that point you want to position yourself in the best possible light so you frantically scramble and try to think of a weakness that’s not too bad.

I’ll confess that years ago when I used to go for job interviews I used to answer that my strength and weakness was that I was a perfectionist.

Nowadays, I would bite my tongue before admitting that.

Yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist but it’s definitely not something I’m in the least bit proud of.

You see, I think perfectionism robs you of living a full and happy life.

Are you a perfectionist?

“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.”

Julia Cameron

You may be a perfectionist if:

1. you think you’re the only person who can do something exactly right
2. you don’t even bother to do something unless you can do it 100% perfectly
3. you never ask for help as you see it as a sign of weakness
4. you can’t stand doing anything badly or failing at anything
5. you tend to notice others’ mistakes

Do you see what I mean?

If you’re constantly striving for the elusive perfection, you’re never going to be happy to just be.

Your relationships will suffer and so will your productivity.

Perfectionism has also been related to illnesses such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression and a host of relationship and emotional problems.

As I said, I used to be a fully-fledged perfectionist until I wised up.

I had to learn to let go a little, lower my impossible standards and change my language.

Next time I’ll give you some more tips on overcoming perfectionism.

But for now, tell me:

Are you a perfectionist? Is it something you’re proud of or have you already started seeing the limitations thereof?

If you’d like one-on-one help from a recovering perfectionist, be brave and contact me today.

I stumbled upon the Reluctant Entertainer blog and started reading her posts on perfectionism and entertaining.

I think so many of us women aspire to be Martha Stewart with perfect everything that when we fall short, we feel inadequate.

I liked what I saw on the blog and so I ordered the book.

It is a beautiful, hardcover book with gorgeous, glossy pages.

Sheer pleasure for a tactile girl like me!

I’m also very visual and I loved looking at all the photos of food and of easy ideas to decorate your table.

Basically, I’m terrible at reviewing books because I take no notes but I have put some stick-e-tags to mark off the things that spoke to me.

Here they are:

“get out of the jail cell of perfectionism by asking yourself, “am I having people into my home to impress them or to bless them?”

(Like Sandy, I also believe perfectionism is a jail cell that will keep you in bondage)

“Authenticity is honest and doesn’t try to needlessly impress others. And the great thing about being authentic is that it attracts other authentic people – those who are soulful and who make the greatest friends”

(authenticity is one of my highest values)

Some of my take aways:

I love how she says that when you apologise profusely for things (food not being perfect, this not good/ that not good, etc.) you make your guests feel uncomfortable. I will stop doing this immediately

I also love how she tells people to figure out your style. If you’re a relaxing brunch type of gal, go with it. It doesn’t all have to be supper! Who knew?

We used to have people over for suppers in the pre-twins days and now I honour their sleep (after waiting for it so long!!!) so we don’t have people over in the evenings. I’m now a lunch-time person. But I’ve been freed to have people over for tea and muffins and not feel guilty about it.

Sandy says, “true hospitality is not about being perfect, cooking a fancy meal or spending a lot of money. Rather, it’s about an open door and an open heart.”

Amen to that!

Are you a reluctant entertainer who is trapped in perfectionism?

Do you know your entertaining style?

P.S. If you related to anything I said, either get the book or subscribe to her blog (there is so much insight in the comments too).

P.P.S. I’m not being paid to write this review. She doesn’t even know I exist