Are you a perfectionist?
If you’ve ever been for a job interview (and who hasn’t?!), you’ll be well aware of that awful question: what are your strengths and weaknesses?
At that point you want to position yourself in the best possible light so you frantically scramble and try to think of a weakness that’s not too bad.
I’ll confess that years ago when I used to go for job interviews I used to answer that my strength and weakness was that I was a perfectionist.
Nowadays, I would bite my tongue before admitting that.
Yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist but it’s definitely not something I’m in the least bit proud of.
You see, I think perfectionism robs you of living a full and happy life.
Are you a perfectionist?
“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.”
Julia Cameron
You may be a perfectionist if:
- you think you’re the only person who can do something exactly right
- you don’t even bother to do something unless you can do it 100% perfectly
- you never ask for help as you see it as a sign of weakness
- you can’t stand doing anything badly or failing at anything
- you tend to notice others’ mistakes
Do you see what I mean?
If you’re constantly striving for the elusive perfection, you’re never going to be happy to just be.
Your relationships will suffer and so will your productivity.
Perfectionism has also been related to illnesses such as eating disorders, anxiety, depression and a host of relationship and emotional problems.
As I said, I used to be a fully-fledged perfectionist until I wised up.
I had to learn to let go a little, lower my impossible standards and change my language.
Next time I’ll give you some more tips on overcoming perfectionism.
But for now, tell me:
Are you a perfectionist? Is it something you’re proud of or have you already started seeing the limitations thereof?
If you’d like one-on-one help from a recovering perfectionist, be brave and contact me today.
Tags: perfectionism, time management
Hi Marcia, that’s really funny because I still give that self-same answer in interviews!
And yes, I too am a recovering perfectionist
Same answer in interviews here too! I couldn’t say the truth, which was that I’m stubborn and disorganized! LOL Before I started my organisation journey, as I like to call all I’ve learned since about 5 years, I thought that perfectionism was simply wanting everything to be perfect. My answer to your question would then have been “NO WAY!!” But now that I see all the faces that perfectionism can have, I would definitely answer yes, especially in the delegation issue, and the “if I can’t do it right, why even bother try??” approach. Ugh!! Trying to get better at it, though, baby step after baby step!
I still think that’s one of the safest answers to that interview question, but personally it’s a prison. I am successfully learning how to break free of perfectionism and it’s the most freeing, life changing experience ever!
Marcia, I can SO relate!
I am a “recovering” perfectionist as well. I used to use the same interview answer. Although, over the years I did change my answer to explain how I thought it was both a positive and a negative. Now I see, it is mostly just a negative. Rather than trying to be a perfectionist, I think I need to just be happy and take pride in the work I do manage to accomplish. I am still working on many of the points you list. The first step is admitting it I guess…
Thanks for all your great posts. I like that you share that you are only “human” too.
I certainly used to be a perfectionist, and I still expect a lot of myself and others. What’s changed (most of the time) for me is that I’ve learned to prioritize better…to focus my efforts on what is truly important. If something less critical can be delegated or outsourced — even if it’s not done “the way I would do it” — it is often worth it to allow me to focus on certain areas. That was a huge lesson in me learning to manage a team in the workplace…and even now in me managing my time and efforts at home.
I still hate the “weaknesses” question, though! What’s your answer to that question?
Personally, I am a recovering perfectionist but still it is an everyday battle for me. I am trying to expect less of myself and trying to let go… Even the smallest task like making my bed in the morning seems to be difficult!!! But I am way better now, you should see me before
I didn’t think that I was a perfectionist but reading this post has certainly had me wondering. This is TOTALLY me:
You may be a perfectionist if:
you think you’re the only person who can do something exactly right
you don’t even bother to do something unless you can do it 100% perfectly
you never ask for help as you see it as a sign of weakness
you can’t stand doing anything badly or failing at anything
you tend to notice others’ mistakes
Personally I think that we all have certain things that we are finicky about and I guess it is all about balancing our need for perfection vs trusting others to use their judgement where appropriate?
Loved this post. Made me think a lot. In fact, I suspect I am going to be pondering this for a few days still.
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