One thing I’ve realised about being a new parent is that “they” market to us big-time and make you out to be a bad parent if you don’t get the latest whatever to make your life or your baby’s life easier.

I’m wise to that nonsense for two main reasons – I’m cheap and I hate clutter.

The advantage of having twins is you quickly learn to find the quickest, easiest way to do things because all the work is doubled.

Clothes

The good thing about having babies that are such different weights is that you only need buy one main set of clothes in a gender-neutral colour and then one or two others for girl/ boy cuteness

I still label everything although these clothes are now in the chest of drawers.

I still use these boxes to separate the different sizes…

and I still use gift bags for additional organising. Really love this idea because I simply change the post-it notes when I’m storing something else and if I no longer need a gift bag, it lies flat and I don’t have a bulky storage container.

Baby toiletries

We keep it simple – we use body wash that can also be used for hair, baby aqueous cream and baby oil. That’s it. Oh, and bum creme.

I don’t believe babies need a whole skincare routine – also, I just don’t have the time.

Bottles

Kendra and Connor like different teats (nipples) so I have separate bottles for each baby. I use masking tape and label each with a big C or K on the top. This is a trick from the NICU

I also have two formula dispensers and twice a day we measure out the correct number of scoops in each container. These are also labelled with masking tape and I also have the instructions on there so that any of the other caregivers who need to make a bottle get it right, e.g. “125 ml water plus 5 scoops”.

Once the bottles are clean and sterilised we fill them with the correct amount of water. At any one time there are about 3 bottles ready for each baby.

By the way, the babies drink room temperature formula so we that we don’t have to  faff around warming bottles.

Toys

I didn’t ask for any toys at the baby showers so we didn’t get any.

I only realised later that it might be a good idea to have one or two things so I went out and bought one playmat. Which they share.

We do have a couple of rattles but that’s it at the moment.

I’m keeping my minimalistic view of toys because (1) I want them to learn to share everything and again (2) I’m not a fan of the clutter!

Books

We have a couple – again, I only have one of each – when they’re old enough to read, they’ll have to fight it out amongst themselves. Survival of the fittest and all that

Control Journal

It won’t surprise you to know that I have a control journal for the babies. It’s got sections on their routine, with additional sections for bathing, feeding, laundry, playing, sleeping, etc. It also has an emergency section with numbers for the nearest hospital, their paediatrician, medical aid details, all our contact details, etc.

When a new nanny starts (this is the second day nanny and we’ve had two night nannies), I hand it to them to reinforce all I tell them when I do the training.

Each time I update it I change the date on the cover and reprint the document.

All that to say this – I’ve only been a mother for 7 months and am still learning what works best for us…. and sometimes that changes on a weekly basis

Please share your best baby organising tips with me.

Last week we spoke about decluttering all those f-r-e-e downloads (including mine!) and all the email. I always try to play along with you so I also decluttered some downloads (4 MP3 audios and 5 PDF e-books).

How did you do?

I must also apologise – I forgot to mention that as part of the Office Organising Bundle, you get Conquer your Email which will definitely help you if email’s your problem.

So how do you know if email’s a problem?

The quick answer is if you spend more than 30 minutes a day on email … but why don’t you take the assessment below this article.

90% of people waste an extra hour a day on email that they don’t have to. That hour translates to SIX WEEKS a year. You read that right – six weeks!

Now onto the rest of the computer decluttering.

Photos

Now that we’ve all gone digital, it’s so easy to snap, snap, snap and then snap some more.

Download pictures regularly, delete the bad ones there and then, and save the rest to CD or DVD regularly to fr.ee up some space on your computer.

I only print beautiful shots (because printing is so expensive here) so if I wouldn’t want to print it, I don’t keep it on my computer. If I want to use pics on the blog, I compress them immediately so that they take up 50KB as opposed to 1MB. And I name them meaningfully so I can find them afterwards with just a few clicks.

Blogs

How many blogs are you following in your Google Reader, Bloglines or other feed reader?

Do you know how long you take to read all of those blogs every day? Take some time to go through your feeds and declutter those you tend to skim over, especially if you do this 3 or more times every week.

Get to know your comfort number. Mine is around 42 – 45 and I know when I start adding more and more blogs without deleting any, I start feeling more and more overwhelmed at the sight of all those unread items!

My coaching challenge to you

1. Print out this post.
2. Tackle one of these sections every week until they’re all done.
3. Let me know when you do them.

Happy Organising.



Look what I found – gorgeous, colourful cutlery caddies.

Of course, cutlery is really the last thing I thought of when I saw these as I immediately had other plans for them.

In the babies’ room this holds their sleep and classical CDs, nose drops (I’d never even HEARD of saline nose drops before the babies were born!) and other such medicinal stuff (lovely and vague, isn’t it?).

I’m not the only one who loves this gorgeous, bright caddy – Connor literally whirls that head of his around to look at this thing if he so much as catches a glance of it. LOL

That was my original purchase.

After a few days of looking at the loveliness, I couldn’t resist and I went back to get another one. Thank goodness they still had some left.

This time for my study/ home office.

I was all about simplifying and increasing space on the desk, especially now that I’ve added a plant.

A plant I received as a gift because, just in case you didn’t know this about me, I do NOT have the gift of growing plants. In fact, it’s more honest to say I kill them. Fortunately my friend bought me a plant that came with instructions so it’s already lasted 4 months which is a BIG record for me.

The caddy now holds a few pens, my camera cable and stapler (don’t you like the way the stapler hangs off the side) and a couple of notebooks I use on a daily/ weekly basis.

Which other uses can you think of for these beauties?

P.S. They’re R49,99 each at Mr Price Home.
P.P.S. Mr P is not paying me a single cent to write about the caddies.

Today I want to talk about an area of the office that may just be one of my favourite things to organise – your computer!

Because we can’t SEE computer clutter as obviously as we can see physical clutter, we often don’t realise it’s there but believe me, it’s still affecting you.

How does it affect you?

When you open your Inbox and feel drained at the sight of all your emails, when your computer runs slow because there are so many photos on there and when you click into your Google Reader and can’t BELIEVE how much some people post because you went through your blogs for 3 hours yesterday and now there are 127 unread items yet again!

Sound familiar?

Let’s look at 4 places where you can declutter electronically:

Free downloads

We (especially women) like fr.ee things, don’t we? Buy one, get one free sales come to mind… As a result, we download anything and everything we can find that’s for fr.ee.

If it’s fr.ee, it’s got to be good, right?

No, actually, it’s not all good. Not only are you cluttering up your computer but you can’t possibly use all the things that are out there because we live in an information-overload society.

I wish I could say that I”m immune to the addiction to FREE stuff but I’m not!

At one point I had about 6 different grocery shopping lists on my computer (all fr.ee downloads) and 10 different versions of a to-do list. None of them quite worked for me so I made my own.

Email

Mmmm, email. My clients need help with email more than any other thing in their office, and paper’s a close second. That’s because email’s so fast and because we don’t use it correctly.

Did you know that for every email you send out, you get at least two emails back?

Get familiar with the delete key (my favourite key on the keyboard) and start deleting. Delete immediately once you’ve replied to an email and don’t file unless you absolutely have to.

Disable all the notifications from social networking sites like Facebook. I only get friend requests, messages and notes on my wall in my inbox. The rest I’ll see when I get a chance to log on.

Here again, decide on your comfort level for emails and make sure you work your system until you can breathe again.

Personally, I set a daily goal of deleting at least 50 items so once I’m done with my inbox, I go through my Sent Items and delete, delete, delete

It’s this weird game I play – anybody have some other weird email games?

As a matter of interest, how many emails are in your inbox right now?

Look out next week for part 2 of decluttering your computer



Everybody wants to have a happy and successful relationship. We must remember that good relationships don’t just happen – after all, we’re not living in a fairy tale. We have to work at it.

Here are my 10 most important keys for relationship success:

1. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. We all know that men and women use different languages – learn to speak your partner’s language. Learn to listen – God gave us two ears and one mouth. Eliminate distractions so that you can focus on one another’s conversation.

2. Resolve conflicts or disagreements respectfully

It is a myth that happy couples never disagree. You are two unique people – of course you’ll think differently about things. Learn to resolve conflicts when you are calm and can think things through rationally. And always try to maintain the other person’s dignity and self-esteem. That means no name calling!

3. Have goals for your relationship

It is always a good idea to set goals together as a couple – whether 3-month, 6-month, 1-year or 5-year goals. And don’t be intimidated by the word goal. All we’re saying is that the two of you should agree on what you want from or out of your relationship. When you do this, it helps to keep both of you united with a common vision. To give you an example, your goal this year might be to have more fun together as a couple. And how you’ll do that is to schedule two date nights every month and maybe take a fun class together, like a dance class. This is exactly what one of the couples I worked with last year did and they enjoyed it so much that they decided to go on and take their dance exams.

4. Stop keeping score

This is a biggie. A successful relationship is one where each party gives 100%, not 50-50. “I did this so you must do that” does not make for a happy time! We women are particularly good at keeping score and this can be really bad for our relationships because we give from a position of expectation instead of out of love.

5. Keep the romance alive

Get out of the habit of only taking about mundane things like if your phone account has been paid or who needs to collect the kids from ballet or soccer. Remember when you first fell in love? How you spoke for hours on end just staring at one another? Start flirting again – use SMS, email, phone, notes on pillows, etc. Have a specified date night at the very least once a month. Even if you only go to the Wimpy for a coffee, it will give you a chance to reconnect romantically.

6. Ensure that each other’s needs are met

Men and women have very different ideas of what is most important to them. I come across this in my coaching work all the time and it never ceases to amaze me. If you don’t know what your partner’s top five needs are, ask them! It will help you understand why they behave the way they do. Just to give you an idea of how needs differ, women usually rate security in their top three while men usually rate sex in their top three!

7. Decide to be happy rather than right

I know I’m going to tread on toes now BUT you need to continually ask yourself, do I want to be happy or right? Please understand that I’m not saying you should become a doormat. But sometimes you have to ask yourself this really hard question. You may win the argument but have you won in love? Learn to admit when you’re wrong and say sorry.

8. Focus on your partner’s strengths

Sometimes we forget why we fell in love. On my workshops and when I coach couples, one of the first things I make them do is write a list of things they love about their partner. I do this because when we take our eyes off the negatives, we start to appreciate our partner’s unique gifts and characteristics. When you’re focused on what a good father your husband is, it’s hard to keep remembering that he leaves the toilet seat up, or forgets to change the toilet roll.

9. Make time for fun

Notice I said “make time”. You have to schedule it because if you wait until you have time to do fun things, you’ll be waiting forever! Take the time out to laugh at silly things, go see romantic comedies, leave silly notes in his lunch box, in his car or on his pillow. My husband and I regularly flirt by email. It sounds like a small thing but it really does add a lot of fun to the day.

10. Say “I love you” often

Those three little words mean such a lot. Don’t assume that he/she knows it so you don’t have to say it. Don’t worry – you won’t wear the words out! Besides saying it, think of some other ways that you can show your love. For me, nothing says I love you like a clean kitchen sink! (In fact, I was quoted in Shape magazine once for saying that a clean kitchen spells romance for me ).

The good news is that you don’t need him or her to be a willing participant to see a difference in your relationship. Of course, it is nicer if both of you decide to change your relationship for the better.

Remember, you can do it! Here’s to your awesome relationship!

© 2007 – 2010 Marcia Francois

Marcia Francois is a happily married wife of 15 years, a mother to sassy, 7-month-old boy/ girl twins and CEO of her organised home. In addition she also coaches people who want a better quality of life. You’ll get practical organising and time management secrets to help you work less and enjoy life more when you visit http://takechargesolutions.org for your free Organising Success Pack.

P.S. If you’re wondering what relationships have to do with organising, try having an organised home if your partner doesn’t buy into the whole process

P.P.S. Please share your tips for an awesome relationship and check out the fabulous Valentine’s special I have for you.

I want to know what is a good way to clear out and keep the emails organized
Diane from Canada

Diane, email is one of my favourite things to talk about. I’ve written an article and two blog posts about this and can’t wait to hear what you think.

7 quick and easy steps to control your inbox

5 things I do to organise my emails

secrets of an empty inbox

I’m passionate about helping people get and keep their email organised. If you need a clear and simple, easy-to-follow, step-by-step plan, have a look at Conquer your Email.

One person cleared 3000 emails in a day after using this plan.

First, let’s talk about what a boundary actually is.

In a physical sense, it’s easy to understand that a boundary marks off where your property starts and where the neighbour’s ends. You are responsible for your property but not for anything that happens on your neighbour’s.

While not as easy to mark off, our emotional boundaries also mark off where our responsibilities start and end. Too many people feel out of control of their lives because they don’t have good boundaries.

Boundaries are like fences in that they keep bad things out and good things in.

This means that you protect yourself from things, people or processes that might hurt you and you nurture things or people that help you.

Notice I said fences and not walls. A wall means that nothing gets through from either side whereas a fence allows flow.

Boundaries are limits or barriers that protect you, your time and your energy.

When your boundaries are well-defined, they help to prevent conflict within your relationships. They are like your personal rules or policies.

Setting boundaries means owning and taking responsibility for your personal choices and the consequences thereof. You make the choice, you take responsibility and you can make a different choice if you don’t like the consequence.

You can’t control other people’s behaviour but you can control the extent to which it affects you. In other words, control your exposure to people.

For example, if you have a boundary that you only work on specific types of projects and a client gets upset about that, that is their issue. You don’t have to explain why you do so although you can if you want

I recently contacted a virtual assistant to see if she was interested in doing some work for me. She very politely emailed back to say that she doesn’t like to do such work. Well, even though I was slightly disappointed, I replied and told her that I LOVE her strong boundaries. I really do!

What would have happened if she’d taken on the work? She’d probably have hated it and been cross with herself for accepting it.

So how do you know that you have weak boundaries?

Here are some physiological signs:

• · Knots in your stomach when you agree to do something
• · Anger and resentment
• · Deep feeling of dread
• · Extreme procrastination
• · Feeling shocked or being appalled at what someone said to you

The first step to creating stronger boundaries is to learn to say no.

Remember if the reaction to your setting boundaries is not great (sulking, anger, nastiness, etc), it’s not about you – it’s about them. That feeling belongs on their side of the “fence”.

Complete these 3 sentences on a piece of paper (or in the comments) with as many statements underneath each as you can think of:

1. People may not… tell crude jokes in front of me
2. I have a right to … ask for help, time off, etc.
3. To protect my time and energy, I choose to do/ not to do  …… more than one social plan every weekend, only 3 hours of work on my business every week day

Those were my examples above. Over to you

Here’s to setting healthy boundaries!

My main organisational issue is to get started / not procrastinate. I always have better things to do.

Oh, and I hate to have to make choices and take decisions because that means not choosing something and I’m afraid it’ll be the wrong choice. So any advice about those two topics are warmly welcome!!

Chloé from France.

Chloe, sometimes we procrastinate because the thing really shouldn’t even be on our to-do list. If that’s the case, let it go and be free. Maybe that’s why you say you always have better things to do

Otherwise, if it does support your lifestyle goals, then here’s how you can overcome procrastination:

• break up the project into small steps
• focus on just the very next action step, e.g. if you need to get a new job, don’t start thinking about what you’re going to wear to interviews….just yet. for now, decide what kind of job you want – that’s the first action step. Then update your CV (resume), etc, etc.
• what gets you motivated? If it’s accountability, then tell someone to hold you accountable.
• work with a timer and get it done

Bath, England, May 2008

About making decisions, I wrote about 3 steps to confident decision-making.

Have a read

How do you overcome procrastination?

P.S. here are tons more tips on overcoming procrastination.