3 steps to get enough me time

Me time |www.OrganisingQueen.com

In the last 6 weeks 90% of the women who have contacted me have said they feel like they have no time for themselves.

This is not unusual.

We all have many roles in life – if you’re a married woman and have children, you’re a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, most times also a sister, friend, business owner, employee or boss, etc.

What often happens is that you always tend to the more urgent roles and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list.

As a result, you start feeling resentful but also very soon you may burn out.

That’s the point when people usually contact me.

This is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.

So what do you do?

Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?

  1. Decide that you are also important

I never ever believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive.

This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.


  1. Identify a couple of activities that will work for you

Everybody is different so this is a personal exercise.

Some people like to do pamper-type activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage.

Some others like to do creative things like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating.

Still others just want time, either by themselves to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with themselves again.

I like time to read or play with my camera :)

Are you seeing which group you fit into?

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  1. Choose the minimum response that will yield results

In my work I talk about always knowing your minimum responses.

When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!

During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.

That was my minimum response.

Now, I expect hours every day to “do my thing” and I have it because I’ve set things up that way.

But I started very, very small.


So what is the minimum response for you?

Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself. Block some time out on your schedule right now.

Goals review for September

It’s the time of the month where I look back at the past month and set some goals for the month ahead.

Interestingly, because of doing the #konmari on my papers, I found my Amazing Life Workbook and so I started reading through it.

Amazingly (haha!) things I completely forgot all I wrote down, like more sleep and more reading, are happening. And also the Let’s Do This course and Discover Yourself.

I’m going to do another workshop in November where we take stock of what’s happened this year, and start setting intentions for the year ahead. This workshop will be a short one (about 90 minutes), and will take via Skype so that transport/ location/ babysitting/ laziness to drive is not an option).

Basically Goals Night (for the year) on steroids :)

I can’t wait!

Look out for early bird pricing in the newsletter soon.

Sept goals review |www.OrganisingQueen.com

September goals review

  1. 70% overall goals reached (still terrible compared to last year’s average of 89% but better than last month’s 62%)
  2. Sleep is still going great – my average was a round 7 hours 15 minutes this month. Two very early flights means I had two short nights.
  3. I almost can’t believe this but I’m completely and utterly up to date with my photos. I only have this weekend’s to edit.
  4. There are too teensy-weensy areas in the study that haven’t been #Konmari’d but the rest of the papers and stationery was all done.
  5. I also wrote a ton of blog posts about this method. I have one more to publish (I need your help if you’ve read the book) and then I’ve put all the links in one post (this is going to be so helpful to me!).
  6. We booked a holiday for the end of the year. Yay!
  7. Just for fun, these were my top 3 performing articles on ezinearticles.com:

10 Must-Have Organising Tools  [view]

Make Your Life Easy With Effective Systems  [view]

Take Time For Self-Care  [view]

Sept goals review |www.OrganisingQueen.com

Lifetime: Top 3 Performing Articles

10 Ways To Increase Your Self-Confidence  [view]

How to Set Healthy Boundaries  [view]

I love talking about boundaries. I wrote about it here and this month, I listened to the audible version of the book again. It was great.

7 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Guilty  [view]

How was your September?

Tell me ONE thing that happened :)


#Konmari – does this spark joy?

I’ve always thought that asking the right questions are really powerful.

In old-school organising (which is now what I think I do :)), I always asked myself and clients these questions:

  1. do I love it?
  2. is it useful?
  3. (for clothes) does it make me feel good?
  4. how many do I really need?
  5. do I have the space to store it?

All very reasonable and…dare I say, good questions

But then Marie Kondo comes along and asks, “does this spark joy?”

#Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

It could seem like a similar question but it’s different.

Where previously we focused on what to get rid of, now we’re asking what we should keep.

I thought it might make a small (like really small) difference to me, so I was amazed when I just went wild and tossed clothes that didn’t spark joy!

In the book she explains that there’s a physiological reaction when you hold something in your hands.

This is true, definitely for me.

I’ve said before that I might see a nice handbag, but if I touch it and it doesn’t feel nice, I won’t buy it. Some others look okay but they FEEL amazing, and have come home with me.

And of course, the goal-setting thing I talk about of putting pen to paper. Making that brain connection between your dreams and goals, and committing to them on paper.

  • When I held my clothes, some were instant YES.
  • Some were instant NO.
  • Some I fitted on and remembered, “oh NO, no joy whatsoever”.
  • There were a tiny % where I wasn’t really sure (decision fatigue?) so I let them stay but I’ve since tossed another two things.

The result?

#Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

  • I have a lot less clothes and shoes than before.
  • I actually need a few things in colours other than grey!
  • Stripes spark serious joy :)

The question of sparking joy also works with other areas of your life – I even decluttered my feed reader of blogs that didn’t spark joy.

When I wear my “sparking joy” clothes, I might have felt like I wanted something else (another colour, etc.) but I then don’t worry about how I look or if something is riding up, because the reason the item sparked joy in the first place is that it was comfortable, it fit well and I love wearing it (you might have different “sparking joy” criteria).

Please comment on Facebook or Instagram and tell me if you’ve done a little exercise of checking if your things spark joy.

If not, why don’t you choose a small space/ category (something that’s not going to make you agonise over it) and do some tidying up this weekend?

A quick note if you’re feeling overwhelmed

I’ve been talking a lot around about the Konmari method of organising (whether it’s working, how it’s working, and so on) and of course you know that I’m working through my own home too.


I still believe with my whole heart that this method is mostly suited to the All or Nothing types.

Those who want to “attack their homes” and get it all done at once (at once being over a 6-month period).


I personally tend more towards one step at a time, baby steps that are maybe a little less drastic but won’t leave you feel like you’re drowning.

If you’re more of a moderator like I am, then if you’re feeling some resistance or overwhelm, maybe Organise your Home would suit you more.

Read more and see if you agree.

Please note I’m not saying one method won’t work for you, I’m saying one method might be more suitable for your type.

Look at me – clearly a moderator but this is working for a lot of my spaces too.

Use this link, scroll down, click “add to cart” and use code WELCOME to get Organise your Home at 20% off.

Wishing you much peace and reduced overwhelm this week!

PS I’m working on a post about Myers Briggs and Konmari which should go up next Monday. If you don’t know your MBTI type yet, why don’t you go to 16 Personalities and find out?

Have you read the Konmari book? I need you!

I’m writing a blog post and I need your help. Currently I’m a focus group of one which doesn’t really work…. 😮

I need your help

If any of you have read the book, please send me a mail and answer these 5 questions:

1.What is your MBTI type? If you’re not sure, take the test here.

2.What drew you to the book?

3.Which aspects did you most love?

4.What do you not love about the book?

5. Tell me about your progress. How long have you been working through your home? Are you done? Do you intend to continue? Etc.

If you’d like a link back, great – I would love that too! Include your name and blog/ instagram.

If not, am happy to keep you anonymous – I just really want the data.

A huge THANK YOU! xxx

10 things you need to know about the Konmari method of tidying up

When I listen to books on Audible, I use the bookmarks feature to flag parts in the book that are interesting or that I may want to think about or blog about later again.

With The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I had so many bookmarks that when I went back to listen, I wrote notes and I ended up writing 7 pages in an A5 notebook.

I picked out the 10 things I think people need to know from the book.


Please note, these are exact notes.

  1. Tidy up by categories otherwise you do the same work in many locations. We have too much stuff because we’re ignorant of how much we really have as it’s all spread out.
  2. Ask yourself, “does this spark joy?” When you touch an item your body reacts physiologically. Does it make you happy or bring you joy? (I have a full post just on this point ready for Friday)
  3. To truly cherish the things in your life, you must discard those that have outlived their purpose. Let them go with gratitude. Reduce until you reach the point where something clicks.
  4. If you’ve never succeeded in being tidy, then you’re going to battle to do a little at a time. (More on this one on Wednesday)
  5. Tidying is a two-step process: discarding, and deciding where to store it. Don’t start storing till you’ve completed the discarding step. By paring down to the volume you can properly handle, you revitalise your relationship to your belongings.
  6. Your goal should be to establish the lifestyle you most want when your house is put in order. (This should be point number 1!)
  7. Putting things away is an illusion that things are dealt with therefore the process of tidying must start with discarding.
  8. With books, ask this question: does it move me or not? Am I happy to see it on my shelf?
  9. A gift is a means of conveying someone’s feelings.
  10. Your feelings are the standard for decision-making, not a random number. Only you can know what kind of environment makes you feel happy. You need to create your own tidying method with your own standards.


Which of the 10 points resonated the most with you?

Which do you find yourself not being sure about?


5 favourite podcast episodes I’ve listened to recently

I usually do a “some reading for the weekend” post but today I decided to do a “some listening for the weekend” because there were a couple of podcasts I listened to recently that I thought, “OH, I want people to listen so we can discuss”.

Hope you enjoy listening – let’s chat on Facebook or Instagram!

Jess Lively talks to John and Sherry of Young House Love about their lives after they stopped blogging.

The Lively Show

Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft talk about imperfection – I love the examples they give about hospitality and about fitness

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons – with Brene Brown (this one has some “salty” language but it’s worth it)

Magic Lessons

Tsh Oxenreider talked to Emily Freeman about her new book, Simply Tuesday. I just LOVE Emily’s voice so for nothing else, listen to the podcast for that.

The Simple Show: Conversations on Passions, Projects, and Living Simply

Speaking of voices, many of the long-time readers know of my deep love of all things Irish. Well. I’ve discovered an amazing Irish podcast, Roisin meets… (Fun fact – Roisin Meaney is one of my favourite authors and I’ve been pronouncing her name incorrectly in my head for a few years :)) and you should listen to this one about Irish author, Cecilia Ahern, of PS I love you fame.

Róisín Meets...

Have you listened to these?

Do you want to recommend a particular episode to me from one of your favourite podcasts?

Let’s get motivated to organise

I’ve been writing about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for awhile now. Don’t worry – I’m going to do a wrap-up post with links to everything soon.

I also still want to write about how personality affects the way you approach tidying because I’ll be honest, I was only motivated to sort out my study because the craziness resulted in me not even wanting to go in there…

I’m someone who is very affected by my physical surroundings and for a room to be a “mess” makes me feel frazzled and scattered in my thinking.

More on that in a later post…


This week, however, let’s tackle some of those tasks around the home and office that we don’t often get around to doing.

Because we all need some quick wins in between the massive tidying.

Quick and Easy tasks help you to build up momentum and feel good about getting things done.

What gets you motivated?

  • Is it music? Then put on some 80’s tunes to get yourself energised.
  • Is it competition? Then challenge yourself and see how many of the tasks you can accomplish in an hour.
  • Is it being accountable? Then post a comment on Facebook or Instagram telling me what you’re going to do and come back to tell me when it’s done! The Virtual Organising Workshop works great for obligers.
  • Is it social interaction? Then make a coffee date with a friend, but only once you’ve done an hour’s organising.
  • Is it reaching a goal? Then reward yourself once you’ve done all the tasks.

Right! So now that we know what motivates you, let’s get to it!


In your home

1. Declutter and sort through all your old magazines. Tear out the articles you need and toss the rest/ let your kids cut and paste pictures.
2. Organise your launch pad – that place in your home where you tend to dump things when you walk in the door. For me, that’s my entrance hall table.
3. Collect all the clothes you need to dry-clean, declutter or get mended. Put them in a bag and put that bag straight in your car.
4. Clear off the front of your fridge. Toss the magnets and recipes you’re never going to use.
5. Throw away any old food in your fridge and freezer, and give the surfaces a good wipe down.

And now for some…


Office organising

1. Do 10 minutes of filing.
2. Collect all the bills and invoices from around your home and schedule the payment dates in your phone or paper planner.
3. Shred any junk mail with your name on it.
4. Organise your desk.
5. Delete 100 emails from your Inbox and Sent Items. Conquer your email may help you.

Whatever you manage to do, give yourself a pat on the back!

7 controversial points from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (2)

Here is the first part 1 of the controversial points in the book.

Today, I want to write about the last 4:

4. Drying shower/ bath items after each wash

Marie Kondo suggests that we dry off our shampoo/ conditioner/ body wash bottles from the shower after each wash.

I would have no problem except that I really count on that extra shower storage space seeing as I have the smallest bathroom in the world.

As a result, this one doesn’t work for me, so I’m discarding that tip :)


5. The Konmari naming convention

Some bloggers took exception to the fact that she named her method.

To that I say, do whatever you want, it’s your book!

Then I saw a couple of commenters mention that in Japan, it is customary to name things by combining the first parts of the surname and first name.

Now it all makes complete sense.


6. The woo-woo/ quirky part of the book

Yes, undoubtedly, there are many parts of the book where things are a bit woo-woo. However that didn’t stop me with The Desire Map :) so it didn’t stop me here either.

Instead I found her manner and style charming and quirky, and it made me smile while I listened in the traffic.

I’m all for embracing your crazy. We all have 10% weird going on, and I truly believe that we connect with others over the 10%.

(Most of my friends don’t read this blog because they think my passion for goals and organising is a bit… mad, but so what, right?)


7. Thanking your stuff

Marie Kondo says we should thank our things for doing whatever job they did while they were with us. E.g. Thank you to the handbag for holding your things so well for three months, and then you release it.

I wouldn’t speak it out loud to each and every item (I like to move a bit faster), but I think there’s value in expressing gratitude to God that you could afford to buy clothes, shoes, books, etc. and then you can move on.

It ties into the taking pics of your sentimental items because both acts slow you down in the moment, you can honour the memory and let go of the physical item.

In conclusion

I think the reason people get so het up about these things is because this seemingly simple matter of tidying up brings up all sorts of stuff in our lives that we maybe don’t want to deal with.

A friend commented on Facebook and said that organising forces us to confront our stuff, both the physical and the emotional stuff, and I think that’s exactly the point.

After organising, then what? It’s the what that most people don’t want to think about.

Did some of these points rub you up the wrong way?

Why do you think this book is affecting so many people’s lives?

Which category should you tidy first?

Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

In the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo suggests how you should order the categories you tidy.

  1. Clothes
  2. Books
  3. Papers
  4. Komono
  5. Mementos

Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

The idea is that the tidying process moves from easy to difficult so you can keep up with the momentum once you start.

Once I understood the concept, I then ordered my own categories in terms of very easy to more difficult. This is the order in which I worked/ am working (I’m on number 7 at the moment):

  1. Bathrooms (I have near zero attachment to lotions and potions so this section was easy)
  2. Kitchen (vases and water bottles)
  3. My clothes
  4. Kids’ clothes
  5. My shoes
  6. Kids’ toys
  7. My study (stationery, papers, etc.)
  8. Books
  9. Komono (here and there, sometimes it’s scattered among other sections, just for a breather, and to “complete” a room)
  10. Mementoes

Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

There’s definitely something to the order in which you tidy. If I’d started with a difficult section, I’d have felt stuck and not wanted to continue.

This way I’m motivated.

I declutter my clothes regularly and with the capsule wardrobe craze, I did some more decluttering over the last year, so it didn’t feel like there was much left.

But as you can see in the photo above, these clothes filled two black bags.

Speaking of bags, see these two bags below? They are gorgeous bags, yes? Well, they don’t spark complete joy for me because they remind me of a time in my life which was… not nice. So out they go. I already have plenty that spark complete joy :)

Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

Would you change the order of the #konmari method for your home?

Are you motivated to start yet? Let me know on Facebook or Instagram.

PS This is a list I printed from Jess Lively‘s website.

Konmari | www.OrganisingQueen.com

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